Grumpy Grump Grumps Grump

The new auction process sucks. Truly it does. People went fucking crazy the beginning. Then people had no money left and upped the prices on any half-decent talent there was. Goalkeepers, I’m sure, never went for 3.5 million. What’s going on? Of course the proponents aren’t going to say they were wrong, and I’ve suffered very badly under the old system when certain managers blatantly followed my lead when I was the top dog. Now I’m an old dog, that’s not going to happen, and no-one or nothing can excuse last year’s canine poop-fest of an auction, but as someone who did suffer, I can say that I preferred the old to the new.

I’m a firm believer that you can stop managers from winning in an auction, with people ganging up on you, furtively or ostentatiously. My last year before the break, I was definitely ganged up on – too many times the same people kept upping the bids by half a million to make me pay premium on players, and I ran out of gas and money. I knew then that once relegated, I wasn’t going to go through another one of them for a while. Now I’m one of the ordinary joes and no-one gives a fig what I do. In truth, I don’t really give a stuff either. I have a bloody wedding to worry about first!

Anyway, to battle.

2008/9 - The Disaster Begins.

Right....

Despite my worst ever Fantasy League season last year, I'm back to give it another go, and lo and behold, due to more dropouts than the GB road race cycling team at the Olympics (men), I have been promoted.

So we went through the new auction process, which was a complete load of old crap. People went off like nutters, the rest felt compelled to follow or else they'd be landed with a team that looked a lot like mine last season, and it resulted in each of the managers basically going through a draft rather than an auction at the end. Instead of an auction, it became more like a pick up game of football. The last bloke I picked up was Kevin Davies. Speaks volumes.

Anyway to analyse my outfit...

Goalkeeper - Tim Howard - probably not going to be as good this season - his team has a lot of bad vibes around it. But he cost nothing.

Full Backs - Evra is among the best there is, and Shorey is mid-range calibre, with a bit of attacking intent. They'll not let me down like Ashley Cole and Gary Neville last season.

Centre-Backs - Kolo Toure is one of my retreads from last season, and he won't have the African Nations Cup in the way this time around. Rio Ferdinand is as good as it gets (alongside the War Criminal) and Zat Knight is a pretty laughable back-up if he does not play. Compared to the missing link that was my second centre-back last season, this, again, will do.

Midfield - I am on a wing and a prayer here. Deco is the sort of player I despise, but he could do anything - be a dead loss or a big scorer. Phil likes him. Elano caught people by surprise and he is now a known quantity. Nani is going to come on a bit, so I like this pick up. Who knows how much Ryan Babel will play? Rosicky will be handy when he's back to fitness. Damien Duff can't be anywhere near as bad as last season, can he? How I go is how the midfield goes.

Strikers - Roque Santa Cruz won't get the same amount of points, but he's "their man". Robbie Keane is going to cause me squad rotation nightmares. Afonso Alves could be the surprise or a dud, who the hell knows? Bojinov scored against AC Milan for Manchester City - that's the basis on which I picked him up at the end. Kevin Davies is playing for a relegation candidate. Lord knows what he'll do. Viduka is currently injured, and I'll carry him for a month or so before I see what is happening. He's decent when fit.

I think this is mid-table fodder, but at least it is balanced. Last season's outfit were awful to manage, and at least I have the equal most money left.

I couldn't give a rat's arse about the other teams.

This year's team name - Challenger, Hindenburg, Titanic, Last Season. Let the disaster begin.

Stuff It...It Is the Cricket Season

Forget my lousy fantasy football team.

It is the cricket season now, and Fantasy Cricket is back....

More on the antics of the Super Six as they battle their way through the County Championship and Test Matches....

Nick and the Lord to fight out the honours.

Simon and Crabb to be on their heels...

Pat and Arthur to fight for the spoon of wood.....

Goals.

Toure, Rosicky, Drogba, Kuyt (2).

Maybe I'm Amazed.

Wind of Change....

Even my Eurostrikers team suffered this weekend - well, I witnessed my striker Pantelic hit the bar with a 91st minute penalty at Olympic Stadion Berlin.

As for my home domestic team. God help us.

I described the game as part 70s football, part soft rock concert. I describe Benjani as a miserable waste of a human being who waited until I dropped him to get fit and score.

There's something deeply unpleasant about Garth Crooks on BBC World.

Negative Thinking

A manager in my league had the privilage of having 3 defenders playing in the Pompey - Reading 7-4 game. To his credit he ended the weekend on positive points (just). I had hoped that my unwanted record of lowest ever ECGD FFL weekly score (-7) might have been bested but no joy. I can't even remember how I got such a record - vaguely recall it was due to thrashings being handed out to Everton and Middlesbrough. I got -2 the following week as well.

"You can f*ck off Benjani. Now I've got Kanu he'll either get unfit or be dropped. No doubt for Benjani."

You forgot the bit about the hat-trick ;-)