I got it bad, you don't know how bad I got it
You got it easy, you don't know when you've got it good
It's getting harder just keeping the defence together
I'm sick of my midfield even if I thought it could
Too few goals is biting through each and every nerve and fibre
My broken spirit is frozen to the core
I don't wanna be here no more….
Bent 5 points. That's it. Cheers to Rob Styles for denying me a clean sheet.
You must be joking, you don't know a thing about it
You got no problem, I'd stay right there if it were you
I got it harder, you couldn't dream how hard I got it
Stay outta my shoes if you know what's good for you
The team is minging, burning me up from the inside
The lack of points, will they ever score...
I don't wanna be here no more.....
Monday 20 August 2007
Thursday 16 August 2007
The Days Of Pearly Spencer
Barnsley, Bournemouth, Northampton, CHELSEA.... your boys took a hell of a beating.
My colleague in crime's reminiscences on a woeful penalty shoot out record had me thinking. I'm remembering penalty shoot out successes for my beloved Lions. The best of which was when John "Pearly" Spencer stuck that one just close enough for one case of stella to save it. And Crabb was in Turkmenistan with Sipurmat Niyazov and his crazy book.
That Northampton shootout was legendary as the Cobblers and the even more Cobblers fought out a 2-0 thriller, with Paul Allen's kick to win nearly clearing the South Stand at the New London Stadium. We had Nigel Spink in goal, they had big John Gayle up front. Oh, those were the days my friend...
Defeats are like imposters in the night. We have the mighty Arsenal and their big-headed Seaman, the despicable, horrible Swindon Town on a night no-one remembers. Birmingham did it to us in the League Cup, and Norwich did it to us in the ZDS Cup. We lost in the Johnstone Paints to the mighty Brighton last season as well. Wonderful. Remember Rushden and Diamonds? That supernova of a team. Yep. They beat us. Underwood scored the winning penalty I recall. Dodgy name, Underwood.
Talking of penalties, I'm not sure I've got a penalty taker in my FL team this season. How remiss of me. I am so out of practice. Where's Andy Cole these days?
So Pearly don't you shed more tears
For those best forgotten years
Could be this one.
I'm out. Like Neil McDonald.
My colleague in crime's reminiscences on a woeful penalty shoot out record had me thinking. I'm remembering penalty shoot out successes for my beloved Lions. The best of which was when John "Pearly" Spencer stuck that one just close enough for one case of stella to save it. And Crabb was in Turkmenistan with Sipurmat Niyazov and his crazy book.
That Northampton shootout was legendary as the Cobblers and the even more Cobblers fought out a 2-0 thriller, with Paul Allen's kick to win nearly clearing the South Stand at the New London Stadium. We had Nigel Spink in goal, they had big John Gayle up front. Oh, those were the days my friend...
Defeats are like imposters in the night. We have the mighty Arsenal and their big-headed Seaman, the despicable, horrible Swindon Town on a night no-one remembers. Birmingham did it to us in the League Cup, and Norwich did it to us in the ZDS Cup. We lost in the Johnstone Paints to the mighty Brighton last season as well. Wonderful. Remember Rushden and Diamonds? That supernova of a team. Yep. They beat us. Underwood scored the winning penalty I recall. Dodgy name, Underwood.
Talking of penalties, I'm not sure I've got a penalty taker in my FL team this season. How remiss of me. I am so out of practice. Where's Andy Cole these days?
So Pearly don't you shed more tears
For those best forgotten years
Could be this one.
I'm out. Like Neil McDonald.
I Like Chopra-in
And for me 7 points with another goal from Chopra plus assists from Malouda and Apache Tevez. Have I picked this seasons Kevin Doyle or Marcus Stewart? Let's hope so. My defence is still resplendent and no clean sheets no goals against. Maybe I should have just made sure it stayed that way.
Am observing the situation with the "Big 4" and their squad rotation with interest - would it be better to get 30 games from someone from a "lesser" club or say 10 games from someone like Benayoun or Sidwell? I don't know, thats why I'm no longer any good at this game.
Interestingly I went to bed on Tuesday night thinking Ipswich had put the MK Dons to the sword 3-2 aet. Then I read in the paper the next morning they equalised in the 120th minute and won 5-3 on pens. Ipswich have won 1 of the last 9 penalty shoot-outs we have been involved with.
Am observing the situation with the "Big 4" and their squad rotation with interest - would it be better to get 30 games from someone from a "lesser" club or say 10 games from someone like Benayoun or Sidwell? I don't know, thats why I'm no longer any good at this game.
Interestingly I went to bed on Tuesday night thinking Ipswich had put the MK Dons to the sword 3-2 aet. Then I read in the paper the next morning they equalised in the 120th minute and won 5-3 on pens. Ipswich have won 1 of the last 9 penalty shoot-outs we have been involved with.
Way On Down
Elvis died 30 years ago to day. I found out in Hania Market in Crete. I got stung by a jellyfish on that holiday, and our beach near the villa in Kalathas was populated by American Servicemen who liked saying "Hey, you guys" a lot.
Which leads me neatly on to Didier Drogba. Who got me my points last night. Nice of him. He doesn't look like Elvis, isn't American, isn't dead, and as far as I am aware, has never holidayed near Kalathas.
16 points off the lead in my division, and with three new recruits. An African, A Belarussian and a scouser. Top dollar.
Which leads me neatly on to Didier Drogba. Who got me my points last night. Nice of him. He doesn't look like Elvis, isn't American, isn't dead, and as far as I am aware, has never holidayed near Kalathas.
16 points off the lead in my division, and with three new recruits. An African, A Belarussian and a scouser. Top dollar.
Wednesday 15 August 2007
Bent out of shape....
Well, that was an impressive display. I guess £16m don't get you as much these days.
Spurs looked dreadful, and Jol has found you can't have four strikers, all of whom would command regular places at many other clubs, if your midfield pongs.
And Spurs defence is the same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.
Psycho Killer, qu'est que-ce?
Take them to the river.
Spurs looked dreadful, and Jol has found you can't have four strikers, all of whom would command regular places at many other clubs, if your midfield pongs.
And Spurs defence is the same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.
Psycho Killer, qu'est que-ce?
Take them to the river.
Tuesday 14 August 2007
Tie My Bad Djourou Down, Sport
Well, at least for one more game. Sunderland at home. Here's hoping for some cheap points before I boot out this waste of space for Ledley King's injured self.
Yes, I'm that desperate.
After tonight, he'll be for the Chopra.
Enough tabloid puns.
Yes, I'm that desperate.
After tonight, he'll be for the Chopra.
Enough tabloid puns.
More Refinements
In an effort to get a defence who at least play the axe falls on Giles Barnes and Sami Hyypia. I could regret the last one but I prefer to have players who are playing even if they are leaking goals like a sieve. I bring in Rozenhal of Newcastle who is a big Czech and Samba of Blackburn who is a vast Congolese man-mountain. That gives me 2 Blackburn and 2 Newcastle defenders making me wonder whether I am stuck in a footballing mid 90s before Brian Kidd and Ruud got stuck in to spoil things. I wonder if Ian Woan is on the free agents list?
Our League Chairman has not permitted any newly bought players to be picked up yet - presumably the likes of Eduardo and Man City's first team will be available some time after Christmas.
Our League Chairman has not permitted any newly bought players to be picked up yet - presumably the likes of Eduardo and Man City's first team will be available some time after Christmas.
Leonard Rossiter
I bought one of Sven's Italians. His surname always brings thoughts of Leonard Rossiter and Joan Collins in Cinzano Bianco adverts.
He scored my only goal of the week.
http://www.leonardrossiter.com/Cinzano.html
Indeed. My team appears to be stuffed with herbs and spices from four continents. That's got to be my aim.
He scored my only goal of the week.
http://www.leonardrossiter.com/Cinzano.html
Indeed. My team appears to be stuffed with herbs and spices from four continents. That's got to be my aim.
Monday 13 August 2007
View from Div 1
Well After week 1 Div 1 has a more satisfying look to it. Experienced pros have risen to the top, hapless makeweights bob below. With my entire defence failing to play goals from Chopra, the superbly named Roque Santa Cruz, Malouda, Downing (may as well drop him now), plus an assist from Kev Nolan (ditto) netted the points.
First transfer has been to bring in Spagna, who I recall having a hit in the mid-80s ( I think it may have been "Call Me" - not the Go West one). Most notably she had startling hair and hailed from Italy I believe. She now plays right-back for Arsenal and has replaced MIA Ferreria in my team.
As I survey lower down the league I note one manager netted 6 points from a double Reading clean sheet. Crazy stuff.
First transfer has been to bring in Spagna, who I recall having a hit in the mid-80s ( I think it may have been "Call Me" - not the Go West one). Most notably she had startling hair and hailed from Italy I believe. She now plays right-back for Arsenal and has replaced MIA Ferreria in my team.
As I survey lower down the league I note one manager netted 6 points from a double Reading clean sheet. Crazy stuff.
Shambles
First weekend and I get the princely sum of 1 goal. From some Italian dude at West Ham, who must have been inspired by my secret prayers to stick one on those malevolent biscuit magnate boys from East London.
I nabbed three assists - Kuyt, McSheffrey and someone else who I can't remember. Oh yes, Toure.
Now here is a confession. I've not seen one goal from the weekend. Not one. Nil. Nada. That's how much the "best league in the world" interests me. I've got Match of the Day on Sky Plus, but given my time limitations these days, I'll get the spare time to watch it at about Christmas.
I'm a little bit miffed at an Arsenal defender being sold to Birmingham (well loaned). That isn't in the bloody script.
I'll run through my team a little when time allows.
Shame about Wayne Rooney. No, really, it is a shame. Honest. A shame it wasn't Cristiano Ronaldo.
Phoned my brother up from the cricket to find out the final scores. His assessment of Man Utd? "No strikers". "They played Nani, looks like one, plays like one." There's one of the "finest young talents in the world today" dismissed.
Mate heard on the tube yesterday West Ham fans wanting Curbishley sacked. I have no West Ham players in my team. Their performances affect me neither one way or the other.
Main performer of the week for me - Bianchi. No idea of his first name and can't be bothered to look. A goal. My only goal. Get fit soon, Droggers.
Oh Dear of the week - not my fault, but the geezer Birmingham have on loan. Thanks a bunch when I have no access to a PC to get him out of my team in time. Loan him the week before, eh?
I nabbed three assists - Kuyt, McSheffrey and someone else who I can't remember. Oh yes, Toure.
Now here is a confession. I've not seen one goal from the weekend. Not one. Nil. Nada. That's how much the "best league in the world" interests me. I've got Match of the Day on Sky Plus, but given my time limitations these days, I'll get the spare time to watch it at about Christmas.
I'm a little bit miffed at an Arsenal defender being sold to Birmingham (well loaned). That isn't in the bloody script.
I'll run through my team a little when time allows.
Shame about Wayne Rooney. No, really, it is a shame. Honest. A shame it wasn't Cristiano Ronaldo.
Phoned my brother up from the cricket to find out the final scores. His assessment of Man Utd? "No strikers". "They played Nani, looks like one, plays like one." There's one of the "finest young talents in the world today" dismissed.
Mate heard on the tube yesterday West Ham fans wanting Curbishley sacked. I have no West Ham players in my team. Their performances affect me neither one way or the other.
Main performer of the week for me - Bianchi. No idea of his first name and can't be bothered to look. A goal. My only goal. Get fit soon, Droggers.
Oh Dear of the week - not my fault, but the geezer Birmingham have on loan. Thanks a bunch when I have no access to a PC to get him out of my team in time. Loan him the week before, eh?
Tuesday 7 August 2007
If You Know Your History
The most successful manager in league history is back - but with a new focus.
I left ECGD’s Fantasy League in a fit of pique. Lord knows I don’t remember how many seasons since I dropped out (is it four?) but I haven’t missed it. I am back playing this year because of my blog. I have a great time writing Life of a Lord and need some more ammunition against the Premiership. What better way than to pretend to care about it for personal gain?
This time last year I was ready to come back, but they fitted up the auction date so I couldn’t make it. That Premier League doesn’t want me back, that’s for sure. With Nick and Pat in Division 1, the top flight lacks all credibility. I for one don’t count victories without these two to beat. You need to beat the best to be the best, and Pat, Nick and Simon Michaelson are the standards by which you should be measured.
I think I’ve won the undisputed big prize on three occasions, including my tour de force in 2002-2003 when I won the proper Double – no imposters accepted – before the shambles of the 2003-2004 season when an auction inhabited by strange individuals, acting even more strangely, resulted in a totally unexplainable loss of composure and focus and a lack of caring for a woeful team. My time was up. I’d had enough and could not be bothered to play in 2004-2005 and 2005-2006.
I am now waiting with breath positively held for the new season. It is nice to start at the bottom, but I really can’t understand how the top flight is made up this season. Who has any credibility up there? Division 1 looks weak save for the two stars of the past that need their next hurrah. Since I left Peter Crabb and Gareth Butler have won. Derby and Nottingham Forest come to mind.
Meanwhile I’ll be struggling in this division.
This is Lord Lynch, back. And he won’t be silenced.
I left ECGD’s Fantasy League in a fit of pique. Lord knows I don’t remember how many seasons since I dropped out (is it four?) but I haven’t missed it. I am back playing this year because of my blog. I have a great time writing Life of a Lord and need some more ammunition against the Premiership. What better way than to pretend to care about it for personal gain?
This time last year I was ready to come back, but they fitted up the auction date so I couldn’t make it. That Premier League doesn’t want me back, that’s for sure. With Nick and Pat in Division 1, the top flight lacks all credibility. I for one don’t count victories without these two to beat. You need to beat the best to be the best, and Pat, Nick and Simon Michaelson are the standards by which you should be measured.
I think I’ve won the undisputed big prize on three occasions, including my tour de force in 2002-2003 when I won the proper Double – no imposters accepted – before the shambles of the 2003-2004 season when an auction inhabited by strange individuals, acting even more strangely, resulted in a totally unexplainable loss of composure and focus and a lack of caring for a woeful team. My time was up. I’d had enough and could not be bothered to play in 2004-2005 and 2005-2006.
I am now waiting with breath positively held for the new season. It is nice to start at the bottom, but I really can’t understand how the top flight is made up this season. Who has any credibility up there? Division 1 looks weak save for the two stars of the past that need their next hurrah. Since I left Peter Crabb and Gareth Butler have won. Derby and Nottingham Forest come to mind.
Meanwhile I’ll be struggling in this division.
This is Lord Lynch, back. And he won’t be silenced.
Happy With My Team?
More to follow on the composition of my bunch of losers, overpaid scum and prissy footballers later, but when you seriously consider naming your team "Newcastle Royal Infirmary" you know something is up.
Peace! Out! A-Town! Yeah!
Peace! Out! A-Town! Yeah!
Welcome
As a spin off from my highly ignored Life of a Lord blog, please feel free to add comments to this blog at will, my fellow Fantasy League managers.......
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