What's The Frequency, Kenneth?

I found out today why this song was named as it was. And like the subject of the song, I feel like I am being beaten up by a couple, well more than a couple, of useless, insane people with no grip on reality.

I'm sitting there watching Newcastle v West Ham, and Owen barely gets in the penalty area. He's unfit you morons. Sort him out.

Drogba. I paid a lot of money for 15 goals. Stop crying over Jose and get yourself fit.

Neville, you lazy socialist millionaire, not singing the national advert, Citizen Millionaire Smith layabout. Get yourself fit.

And you Duff. Fit. Now.

And you Given. Fit. Get picked. Now.

Bianchi. How much. Get picked.

You can f*ck off Benjani. Now I've got Knau he'll either get unfit or be dropped. No doubt for Benjani.

McSheffrey. Do one. When I think of an apt replacement, I will.

Stubbs. Jesus. Did you wait for me to pick you before you pulled the ladder up.

Put the bloody lot of them on benzadrine - uh-huh.

Yo! Iceman - Word to your Mutha

As you have slumped to the foot of the League perhaps it is time to make a few transfers? Saha and Clichy in maybe?

You are in danger of being "served" by the League that brought us the Blacksell/ Robertson combination and I do not consider this an edifying prospect. Pull yer finger out and restrict being atrocious to your rhymin' and do not extend it to your FFL performance.

Oh, Misery, Misery

5 points.

Jesus. Can this team get any worse?

C'mon Pat, wind me up, tell me how good your team has been.

Has been. That's a good phrase.

Why did I pick up Benjani? He hasn't played since. Has anyone seen Shay Given? I picked up Stubbs, he picked up an injury? Why is Bianchi not playing? Who is Gary McSheffrey and when will be sold to a Championship club? I have £17million to spare, I think I'll buy Darren Bent, or more productively, set it on fire......

28 point weekend

Not sure when I last had one of these. Courtesy of Blackburn and Newcastle defenders plus even Downing got his second goal of the season. A surge to the top of the table. Will need to decide what to do with Sidwell and Benayoun who are not exactly having much opportunity to score any points.